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Turboencabulator Performance n'Art

These two videos are great examples of Performance n’Art that focus on the imaginary invention of the “Turbo Encabulator” which is described here in two versions of the same script that is chock full of technobabble.

The top video is the first time a “Turbo Encabulator” was recorded on film in the late 70’s at Regan Studios in Detroit. The narrator and writer is Bud Haggert and cameraman was Dave Rondot.

A second version done by Bud Haggert went even further into the gargon-knot with references to the “Peruvian Academy of Scatological Sciences” and other factiodinally perplexified descriptiphants (sic).

A later version of the product that achieved “a high level of development” was done by another Ad man for these technical videos (actors name needed) as a re-named “Retroencabulator” that was further developed and manufactured by Rockwell Automation.

The full copy of the Retroecabulator script is as follows:

Here at Rockwell Automation’s world headquarters, research has been proceeding to develop a line of automation products that establishes new standards for quality, technological leadership, and operating excellence. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provide inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters.

Such an instrument comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance Electric motors, Allen-Bradley controls, and all monitored by Rockwell Software is Rockwell Automation’s retro-encabulator.
Now basically the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it’s produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance. The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings ran in a direct line with the panametric fan.

The line-up consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzul vanes so fitted to the ambaphascient lunar wain shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-odeltoid type placed in panendurmic semi-bulloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremmy pipe to the differential girdle spring on the up-end of the grammeters.

Moreover, whenever fluorescent square motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with the drawn reciprocation dingle arm, to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

The retro-encabulator has now reached a high level of development, and it’s being successfully used in the operation of Milford trunnions. It’s available soon, wherever Rockwell Automation products are being sold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special thanks to Victor Sparrow

 

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